Hey comrad. I awoke this morning at 6 something to find your text on my phone. I was sure it was a nightmare and tried to sleep again, but after 2 minutes I decided to get out of bed to turn on the light, in case this was for real. Then I was thinking, maybe this is a mistake, and in your good but not fantastic English, you made a mistake. It was only the third time I read the message that I understood this is very real, and there is no mistake or nightmare, unfortunately.

Now I was really awake and the first thought that came into my head, or maybe picture, was of watching you and “Papa Caros” (as I called him) playing together in Cork, and the way you bounced off each other. After putting on the kettle, I eventually got my brain to function and made the call, and the rest is…

A little like yourself, Papa Caros always shook hands sincerely,and always with his own unique kind of graceful smile. A man that would not know how to hurt anybody, who would make a bad soldier. His strengths were much deeper than anything physical. I met Vicente a good few times, and despite not being able to speak his language, I always communicated very well with him, as did the rest of the lads. We were always so happy to see him coming around our “nuthouse” with his positive but discreet humble energy.

Each and all of us are with you in the battle of all time battles that lies ahead in the future. You have an army that would have flattened hitler behind you, Serg,and yes, I spelled hitler with a small “h” on purpose. The days and the weeks and months will pass, Serg, and the tears will turn to laughs and smiles at the happy memories you are lucky enough to have. The length of time is not so important as you will find out, but the quality. You may not feel it right now, but you will understand later how lucky you are.

Our thoughts are also with your dear mother who has lost her best friend. May God give her strength and courage to fight on positively, and also your brother. Bless ye, and be sure the sun will shine again for all of you with purpose and energy. xxx

Barry

I have always asked myself the following question: is alcoholism a chemical addiction or not? From watching different alcoholics and their behaviour over the years, whether they are drinking or not drinking, I have often thought that there is more to alcoholism than just a chemical addiction. Then, in the last few days, I have met two different people by chance who related more or less the same story to me about two different family members. Basically, in both cases the family member gave up drinking because it was interfering with their lives, or so they thought, but both of them started and continued to drink in a normal fashion a few years later. In both cases, again, they said that when they were drinking too much and having trouble with it, the reason was because at the time they were not happy with where they were in their own lives, and they were hiding behind drink, and then blaming the drink for the problems, even after they stopped. Of course, the drink wasn’t helping the situation, but the drink in itself was not the underlying problem. Both of them gave up drink and made a serious effort and succeded in addressing what was for them the *real* problem, which was different in each case, and became comfortable in themselves and where and who they were, and in both cases they returned to having a drink, and have been for quite a few years without any problem whatsoever.

The question is, are all alcoholics hiding from something, whether they are on or off drink, and blaming drink for everything that happened in their lives and hiding behind it, joining the club AA and unknowingly supporting each other from facing whatever the *real* problem might have been from the start? Is it possible, like the two stories above, that if they had addressed the *real* problem, if they could face it and deal with it, that they would be able to drink normally? Or maybe there was no real problem, simply a chemical dependency?

I don’t know what the answer is but these two stories really got me thinking to what I always thought was at the very least a possibility. Maybe the truth is that they simply can’t face whatever the real problem is or was, and therefore they are quite happy to hide behind and blame alcoholism for everything, and even if that was the case, is there anything wrong with that, if it’s getting them through life?

I would love to hear other people´s thoughts and experiences of similar situations, but more from family members rather from those who have had or have a problem with drink, or the lack of it!!

I don’t mean in any way make a joke of what is a very serious problem for those who are affected by drink or an underlying problem, whether they are or were the drinkers or family members, as I am one of the above myself, and, like you all, I know many people in the same situation. But we have to keep a sense of humour, even if we´re laughing at ourselves, and maybe this is all bullshit and drink is simply a chemical addiction that affects some more than others?!