… like a prisoner requires the patience of Job and the control of a saint!

Like everyone else in the world who finds themselves in the above situation, you would rather be on the top of a glacier in -30 degrees naked with no real chance of survival!!

Christmas is a fantastic time of year for these situations, when families are forced together. The in-laws/outlaws/children/grandchildren etc etc, which some of them don’t get on and are there only out of a sense of obligation. Don’t do it. Put a few drinks into the equation and Hiroshima looks like a teddy bear´s picnic…

The real question is how far do you go with your sense of obligation given the fact that you have only one short life and it’s better to spend it in a positive atmosphere as much as possible.

I recently had a conversation with a gentleman in his late 50s who told me that some of his family came to stay with him last year for Xmas, from a large city to his country town. In the group were his daughter and granddaughter. The 13 year old granddaughter dragged her feet around the house, picked up nothing after her, mumbled some jibberish when asked polite questions by her grandfather who was trying to make conversation, and made no eye contact.

Grandfather calls the child aside and has a few words to say about manners. Granddaughter goes to mother. Mother goes to grandfather and tells him to stop upsetting granddaughter in a rage. Grandfather feels like a pile of shit in his normally peaceful home. He apologises when he really shouldn’t, just to try and get through the next few days. Grandfather says to him self “I’m going to Lanzarote next year with a few friends”, granddaughter stays in big city next year and all is well, or at least for grandfather.

I have learned from past experience to be extremely careful of getting myself into “trapped” situations with people who are potential trouble, or whom I am potential trouble for.  I am a very bad actor and can’t put on a show just for the sake of it.  Can’t be doing going around with a false stupid smile with people who don’t contact me from one end of the year to the other, but think so different on Xmas Day or any family occasion, out of a sense of duty.

My experience of these situations is that you try to do the *right thing*, and everything ends up even worse than before.  Be a hero – and stay away.  Just like aquaintances, family are the same – some I get on with extremely well, and some not at all.  That’s life, and I prefer to spend the time with those I consider *real* people whom I get on with.  Can’t spend time with assholes who are trying to impress a false image of themselves upon others.

The bottom line is that I know they are doing this out of a sense of insecurity within themselves and I feel very sorry for them.  It’s my own weakness that I don’t have tolerance for these situations.  Can anyone give me a prescription???

Maybe I could smoke joints for these occasions, which I don’t do – nor do I judge those who do.  Then I could sit there smiling away at everyone and everything around me and laughing stupidly at Santa the bastard falling off the Xmas tree.  Bad idea?  Or maybe not, mmmh.

Adios.