Here are a few consequences of the volcanic ash in Iceland.  By the way, why don’t they throw a sup of water on it and get on with life?

1. Mistresses stranded in the wrong cities.
2. Husbands stranded with wives at home or abroad.
3. Priests and brothers who can’t make their court cases.
4. The % of the possibility of a bird strike has fallen through the floor.
5. Can’t get Fitzpatrick and Drum back to lock them up.
6. O´Leary has his wish again / no baggage.
7. Plenty of time to check the planes for small cracks and dip them for oil.
8. Time to repaint all Ryanair aircraft in the Aer Lingus colours before the imminent takeover.
9. Much higher mobile phone use and the ferries cleaning up.
10. Property prices and car sales rising due to too many foolish people having too much time on their hands in the wrong places, which could be home.
11. And last but not least, all of us at Charlie´s Bar having an unexpected week off, which will have a serious effect on the following:

• condom sales (easy Shaky and Pedro!)
• a significant rise in Lanzarote pregnancy levels
• a rise in alcohol consumption levels in Lanzarote
• a rise in mass attendances
• a slight darkening of the skin, due to getting up an hour earlier each day at 4pm
• more music and books written and an increase in the levels of very important bullshit spoken

HERE’S TO THE HOLIDAYS!!!